


a voice that speaks the truth

by Anonymous



Series: the moon and the stars, they are nothing without you [6]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Alpha Yoon Jeonghan, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Lee Seokmin | DK-centric, M/M, Marriage, Married Couple, Mentioned Boo Seungkwan, Mentioned Kim Mingyu, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Omega Lee Seokmin | DK, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Time heals, they say. But when you have spent all that time suppressing your hurt and trying to forget it instead of overcoming it, you eventually explode and have no choice but to deal with it immediately. Lee Seokmin is now finding this out.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Series: the moon and the stars, they are nothing without you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862176
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51
Collections: Anonymous





	a voice that speaks the truth

It was a peaceful day.

However, Seungcheol had to admit that sometimes it was hard to get any work done when Yookyung began throwing a tantrum over not getting enough attention or Songhee crying for food. That was the situation he was in now as he waited for Songhee’s food to warm up while Yookyung coloured away sitting in front of the TV watching her cartoons. Seungcheol’s eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall as he had invited Seokmin over to talk to him as he had noticed that the younger had been acting off ever since he had met Mingyu a couple of weeks ago. When he had mentioned this to Jeonghan, he had told him that he noticed Seokmin’s behaviour change as well as soon as Mingyu had talked about his miscarriage. He had a sneaking suspicion of what was wrong but had only briefly raised the topic to Jisoo about how maybe Seokmin had an experience with miscarriage as well.

The sound broke his thought process of the doorbell, and he went to answer it with Songhee at his hip.

“Hi, Seokmin!”

“Hey, hyung.”

“Could you just hold Songhee for a moment I need to go prepare her food.”

“Sure,” Seokmin replied cheerfully, holding the child with care watching fondly as she babbled nonsense.

He sat down at the dinner table, making funny faces at the baby while tickling her softly under her chin, waiting for Seungcheol to come with her food. When he did approach the table though, he noticed the older omega seemed slightly apprehensive, and the small smile he gave Seokmin seemed somewhat forced, making him feel uneasy.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh not much, I just wanted to see how you are,” Seungcheol answered, putting all his focus into feeding Songhee and not even sparing Seokmin a glance.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause you look too nervous for this to be a simple hangout.”

Seungcheol fidgeted a bit before finally looking at Seokmin, worry evident in his expressive eyes as he shifted, so his body was facing Seokmin.

“To be honest, you seem… off ever since you met Mingyu you’ve kind off-”

“Oh, don’t worry about that hyung, I was just surprised to hear about his miscarriage that’s all.”  
“But you’ve been ‘surprised’ for the past couple weeks, and you seem more hurt than shocked. I just wanted to let you know that if something was wrong, then you can tell me.”

“Cheol-hyung, please just drop it.”

“I wouldn’t bring this up unless I thought it was serious Seokminnie. Do you know someone close to you who had a miscarriage?”

“Hyung please.”

Or did you have one? I remember Jihoon saying once that you guys weren’t ready for kids though so I guess that means you haven’t tried unless it was an accidental pregnancy which-”

“Hyung!”

Seungcheol was cut off by Seokmin slamming his fist on the table with teary eyes causing him to look up abruptly in shock. In all the years he had known Seokmin the younger never got angry to the point where Seungcheol was almost sure he didn’t know how to get angry. Looking at the sight in front of him, of an emotional watery-eyed Seokmin who was taking in heaving breaths, he realised that he had just pushed him to his limit.

“Even if I did tell you what was wrong, what good would it do?”

“Seokmin I’m so-”

“You know hyung, you always think you are the perfect person for people to come to when they need help, but that is not even close to the truth. You have two mates, two husbands who love you. You have a loving, caring, strong and healthy relationship. Meanwhile, some of us are struggling with our relationships. 

Every single time we come here, or we meet up somewhere, when we get home, Jihoon always mentions how he wishes to have children one day, how you guys look so perfect in your beautiful house with your amazing family. God, sometimes he talks about it so much I wonder if he wanted to marry you instead of me because apparently, I’m not good enough for him.”

“Seokmin, that’s not true. You know that, right?” Seungcheol was almost in tears himself after hearing all the self-hate spewing out of his dongsaeng’s mouth

“Do I? Sometimes I feel like I can finally be enough for him, but then I’m reminded of you and realise it’s never gonna happen. It makes me feel sick.”

“Minnie” Seungcheol choked out, the other omega’s scent tinted with bitterness and self-loathing.

“You honestly don’t realise how lucky you are hyung. You have your husbands; you have your children, you have a picture-perfect house, you have a perfect life yet you think you know what I’m going through. Honestly, it feels like you're mocking me at this point. Do you know what? Yes, I had a miscarriage, yes I am still hurt over it, and no I’m not ready for kids because every time someone mentions it I get flashbacks of me bleeding out in a bathroom crying so no I’m not alright!”

Seokmin stood up without warning, now towering over Seungcheol who was sitting down still holding Songhee in his lap. Seokmin had tears streaming down his cheeks from his emotional outburst and was breathing heavily, blood coursing through his veins, and he thought about his trauma. Wiping the tears away Seokmin got up and grabbed his coat moving towards the door before looking back at the older omega one more time.

“How lucky are you that your daughter survived Choi Seungcheol. The pain you felt when she was born prematurely was nothing compared to mine”, and with that, he closed the door behind him leaving Seungcheol in silence the only sound in the room coming from the animated show on the TV.

Seungcheol had silent tears flowing down his face, his grip on Songhee tightening slightly as Seokmin’s last sentence bounced around in his head.

Lucky? Is that what you call staying awake for days on end watching your daughter struggle to breathe without the help of machines? Wondering whether she was going to survive, if she would be able to live a carefree life, worrying that after waiting to meet her after so long she would be snatched away from you at any point?

Seungcheol understood that maybe his experience was different compared to Seokmin however, that didn’t allow him to undermine Seungcheol’s struggles. Seungcheol blinked rapidly realising that he was holding Songhee too tight. He went to put her back into her crib so that she could rest before he crawled into his bed and put the covers over himself trembling and crying as the events of Yookyung’s birth took place in his mind, his breath coming out in short quick pants as he curled in on himself.

“Appa?”

Seungcheol was so wrapped up in his head, he hardly heard Yookyung calling for him and instead tried to regulate his breathing, too ashamed to let his daughter see him like this.

***

“I swear to God when I get my hands on Seokmin I’m gonna-”

“Jeonghan, please! Now is not the time to get violent.”

Jisoo watched as Jeonghan paced across the living room, combing his hands through his hair as he tried to calm himself down. Jeonghan had gone to pick up Jisoo from his workplace before they both drove home only to come home to eerie chaos. When they entered the house they saw Yookyung sitting in the living room by herself, where everything was a mess, toys and pillows were strewn everywhere, the dining table not cleaned while the TV played in the background and Songhee could be heard crying loudly at the front door. The two shared a look before Jeonghan dropped his things and quickly went to attend to Songhee while Yookyung ran up to Jisoo and hugged his legs.

“Papa!”

“Hi sweetheart, what’s going on?” Jisoo asked carefully, trying to seem as happy as possible, so he didn’t worry her.

“Appa won’t leave your room, and Songhee is crying too loud.”

Jisoo immediately frowned when he heard that as if Yookyung was able to notice then he must have been in there for a long time. Before he could ponder any longer, Jeonghan came back into the room with Songhee in his arms rocking her back and forth slowly as he shushed her.

“Seungcheol isn’t answering, and our room door is locked.”

Jeonghan’s worry was evident on his face, and Jisoo’s eyes widened in surprise before he turned back to Yookyung trying to erase any signs of panic from his face so that she wouldn’t become worried as well.

“Yookyungie sweetie, did anything happen to appa?”

“He and Uncle Seokmin, they cry, and then Uncle Minnie leave.”

Joshua nodded his head and kissed her forehead before leading her to her bedroom seeing how her eyes were drooping shut before coming back to the living room to clean up the mess, too antsy to stay still. Meanwhile, Jeonghan was still trying to get Seungcheol to unlock the door with Songhee in his arms. Just as he finished clearing the table, their bedroom door creaked open, and Seungcheol came out with his tear-stained face looking worn out. Jeonghan had gone to put a sleeping Songhee in her crib, so Jisoo stepped forward slowly, not wanting to startle his husband. Seungcheol eventually looked up and walked in front of Joshua leaning forward, so his head was on his shoulder.

“I’m so stupid and selfish” muttered quietly, sniffling.

“No, you’re not Cheol” Jisoo whispered, cradling his omega’s head, “Tell me, baby, what’s wrong?”

“You know how I wanted to talk to Seokmin about what’s bothering him? I tried that today, but I was so stupid and pushed him past his limits, and he blew up. Shua, I have never seen him so upset ever in my life, and he started shouting about how he wasn’t enough for Jihoon, how he was too traumatised to have kids and then...” Seungcheol trailed off getting overcome with emotion again

“Hey, it’s okay, no need to rush Cheollie, take your time.”

“He said I would never understand him because I have a perfect life, that I have everything every omega wants, what he wants. He said that just looking at me makes him feel sick because my presence mocks him. He even said that I was so lucky Yookyung survived and that the pain I felt would never compare to his when he-”

“Seokmin said that?” 

Both of them turned to see Jeonghan standing there looking at the scene before him with his face contorted into a rage.

“Hannie, I don’t think he meant that he was just emotional.” the omega choked out, defending his dongsaeng even in his fragile state.

“I don’t care Cheol! He had no right to speak to you like that, to say any of those things to you!”

“Hannie,” Jisoo said, trying to placate his husband “we don’t know the whole story, and you know Seokmin would never do anything to hurt Cheol. Let’s just calm down now, and we’ll figure it out tomorrow okay?”

Jeonghan plopped himself down on the couch, leaning forward to put his head in his hands while Jisoo led himself and Seungcheol to sit next to him, an arm still wrapped around his body. Jisoo rubbed a hand up and down Seungcheol’s side using his sleeve to wipe away his tears. Eventually calming down, Jeonghan moved closer to his husbands and rested his head on top of Seungcheol’s, moving his hand to play with the hair at Joshua’s nape, giving them both a weak smile.

“I’ll go talk to Seokmin tomorrow.”

“Hannie-”

“Trust me, Cheol. I won’t do anything to him, but obviously, something is going on and if he doesn’t want to tell Jihoon or you then he has to tell me. He can’t lie to me, anyway.” 

\---

Two days after Seokmin visited Seungcheol’s house, Jeonghan came knocking on the door of his and Jihoon’s apartment. When he opened the door, Seokmin saw concern in his face and knew there was no more avoiding the inevitable and let the alpha in, guiding him to the dining table and sitting opposite him. It was utterly silent before Seokmin spoke up timidly.

“Is Seungcheol-hyung okay?”

“He’s fine now, no need to worry,” Jeonghan watched as Seokmin nodded his eyes watering as he raised his head to look at the older.

“Hyung, he knows that I didn’t mean any of it, right? I don’t know what came over me I felt so broken and it felt like he was suffocating me with all those questions, so I just, I..” Seokmin trailed off at a loss of words.

“You exploded, Seokmin. That’s what happens when you keep so much to yourself. I don’t want to overstep, but when Cheol was telling me what happened, he mentioned something that you said which would explain why you seemed so unnerved when Mingyu talked about his miscarriage.”

Seokmin let out a huff of disappointment before wiping away his remaining tears.

“Hyung, remember when Jihoon and the rest of you had graduated, and it was just me left in university?”

“Yes, why?”

“Half-way through the year, I found out I was pregnant and started panicking because we weren’t ready for kids and I couldn’t afford to take time off uni, so I didn’t tell Hoonie anything. When I was nearing three months, I was with my friend when I started having severe stomach cramps so he took me to his place so I could use the bathroom and I started bleeding like a lot. I had never been so scared in my life, my friend, Seungkwan, had to call an ambulance because we had no idea what to do. It took maybe ten minutes for them to come, I don’t know, I passed out at one point, but all I knew is that when I woke up my baby was gone, and all that remained was the scar from when they had to take them out.”

“Minnie...” Jeonghan reached over to grasp the younger’s hand in support, the expression on his face relaying the shock he felt that his dongsaeng had to go through such an experience at such a young age. “No wonder you got so upset, baby that’s a lot to keep to yourself.”

“I know,” the omega sniffled, taking a deep breath before continuing “I don’t even know how to tell Jihoon about it. Every time he asks if I’m ready for children, I just think about that lowest moment of my life and realise that I’m too scared to and there’s so much to unpack emotionally, and I have no idea how to even bring that up to Jihoon in case he blames me for it somehow. Hyung, even though I was scared back then, I didn’t want to lose the baby, you know that right? Sometimes I feel like it’s my fault for being so stressed over everything, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to have a child without complications.”

“Minnie dear,” Jeonghan shushed, moving so that he could sit next to the omega and comfort him better “I know you didn’t want to miscarry, hearing you talk I can tell how much this hurts you and how much care you held for your baby. Just like I told Mingyu, miscarriage is never anyone’s fault, it is just an unfortunate thing that happens sometimes to good people for no reason. Just know that I’m here to help you through this”

“But hyung, isn’t it too late? It’s been years since then, is there even any point in trying to get through my trauma?”

“It is never too late to overcome your trauma Seokminnie. We will all stay by your side and support you even if it takes years for you to be able to face your fears.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“No problem,” Jeonghan gave a small smile before becoming more serious “But you do know to completely overcome this, you have to tell Jihoon about it? Nobody is going to force you to, but I think one of the reasons it’s difficult for you to move on is because you’ve been keeping this from your husband all of these years.”

“Deep down, I know I should tell him hyung, but another part of me thinks he’ll be mad at me”

“If he so much dares to, I will come and put him in his place.”

Seokmin Let out a breathy laugh, “Do you mean like you did to me today,hyung?”

“Nope” a mischievous smile grew on the alpha’s face “This is nothing compared to what I would do to him. Or what I wanted to do to you at first.”

Hearing the older’s words, Seokmin’s smile faded and he started to look ashamed of himself again, breaking eye contact with Jeonghan.

“Did I hurt him that badly hyung? Please tell me the truth.”

“When Shua and I first got home, Seungcheol had locked himself in his room and left the girls to their own means for who knows how long, then he started crying a bit but he calmed down quite quickly. He didn’t seem that upset with you and even told me not to get angry, so I don’t think-”

Jeonghan jumped when Seokmin broke out in loud sobs bringing his hands to hide his face, while the alpha grabbed some tissues for him so he could wipe away his tears.

“After all the bad things I said to him, Seungcheol-hyung still wasn’t mad at me. God, I really don’t deserve him do I?”

“Honestly, I don’t think any of us deserve Cheollie,” Jeonghan said fondly “He really is the perfect person for me, just like you are the perfect person for Jihoon, Seokmin-ah.”

A couple of minutes passed as Jeonghan waited for Seokmin to collect himself before he resumed the conversation.

“Speaking of, Seokmin I need your word that you will try to talk to Jihoon about this before the end of the month okay?”

“Okay, hyung,” Seokmin said firmly.

“And also, do you want me to give you Mingyu’s number? You don’t have to say yes, but it might be nice to have someone who relates to what you went through.”

“Do you think he would be okay with it though hyung?”

“I’m sure! Last time, Mingyu even told Jisoo and Cheol that he wanted to talk to someone who had been through the same as him but was nervous to look for strangers to talk to. You’re not a stranger, so it would be a perfect match!”

“I’ll think about it hyung,” Seokmin said softly, making Jeonghan smile at the younger.

“Hyung?”

“Yes, Seokmin?”

“Thank you. I think I’m ready to face this head-on.”

\---

A week after his talk with Jeonghan, Seokmin found himself thinking about everything while laying with Jihoon on their bed, his husband typing away on his laptop while Seokmin’s head rested on his stomach. It wasn’t the ideal time, as they were supposed to be falling asleep soon, but something pulling in his gut told Seokmin that now was a great time to tell Jihoon what he had been hiding for the past seven years.

“Jihoonie, are you too busy?”

“Never too busy for you.”

“I need to tell you something.” his heart suddenly started beating quickly as he dreaded having to say his next words.

“Go ahead,” Jihoon said, but his focus was still on his laptop as he continued typing.

Seokmin tried to pull himself together, but seeing that Jihoon’s full attention wasn’t on him made him act on impulse as he grabbed his lover’s hands and turned him so that he was now facing him. Looking at the younger’s face, Jihoon was now able to see the fear and hurt on the omega’s face and immediately became worried.  
“It’s important Jihoon, please.”

With one hand, Jihoon saved his work and quickly closed his laptop, now giving his omega his full attention as he became aware of the seriousness of the situation at hand.

“Baby, what is it?” Jihoon was clutching Seokmin’s hands with a fondness.

“Do you remember that one year where you had graduated already and I was still in university?”

“Yeah, I remember you saying that it felt scandalous even though I assured you there was nothing wrong with it” the alpha commented laughing softly at the memory, but his laughter died down when he realised that Seokmin wasn’t laughing as well.

“Something happened that year that I haven’t told you about. Only two people know about it, not including myself, and I just want you to know that I never intended to keep it from you, things just spiralled out of control.”

“Honey, you’re starting to scare me. What is it?”

Seokmin took a deep shuddering breath, looking at his husband’s confused eyes as his own began to water.

“I was pregnant.”

The omega watched as Jihoon’s eyes widened in shock before he tilted his head and started gaping, seemingly at a loss for words.

“You were?”

“I had a miscarriage.” Seokmin blurted out.

The second revelation had a much different reaction than the second one, instead of confusion, shock and hurt coloured the atmosphere as Jihoon’s scent betrayed how disappointed he was. Feeling his hands drop from Jihoon’s, Seokmin inhaled sharply believing that his alpha would reject him. Before he could get too lost in his thoughts though, he heard a wet laugh and looked at Jihoon’s face to see him crying.

“Jihoon?” Seokmin was shocked as out of all the reactions he expected, this was not one of them “why are you crying?”

“I’m such a shitty alpha,” Jihoon let out a painful scoff “my omega was going through the worst pain imaginable, and I never noticed.”

“No, Jihoon, I wanted to keep it from you. I felt so ashamed at the time and I didn’t know how to tell you especially since you didn’t even know about the pregnancy in the first place.”

“That doesn’t excuse me Seokmin” Jihoon answered his sobs becoming more prominent “I can’t believe you went through something like that all by yourself, and I didn’t once comfort or support you.”

“I wasn’t completely alone. Seungkwan helped me.”

“Seokmin.” Jihoon had grabbed Seokmin’s shoulders so that they were face to face and then leaned so that their foreheads were touching “You are my omega, I should be there to support you during difficult times and to comfort you when you are not at your best. I am so sorry that I failed to do that for you. Please, forgive me, honey.”

Jihoon ended his apology with a kiss to Seokmin’s forehead before bringing the omega’s head to rest in the crook of his neck. Seokmin was still sobbing lightly, greatly moved by the alpha’s sincerity and reaction to the news.

“I’m so lucky that I was able to meet and marry you Jihoon. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I promise that one day I will give you children so we can be a happy family.”

“I’m not with you so you can give me children Seokminnie, I’m not so backwards” Jihoon caressed Seokmin’s brunette locks as he rocked them gently side to side “as long as I have you, I will be happy. We will have kids when you are ready, I’m sorry for pressuring you all these years if I had known I would have never done so.”

“It’s fine Hoonie. You know now” Seokmin sighed in relief.

After carrying such a heavy secret for so many years, Seokmin felt freed now that he had told others and was able to work his way through his trauma now with the people he loved and cared for by his side. He was no longer confined by his past and could now begin to move on after so many years.


End file.
